Embracing the Journey: The Gift of Ageing

Age is often perceived as a mere construct, shaped by cultural perceptions and societal norms. Depending on our geographical location and upbringing, our understanding of ageing can vary significantly. Constant exposure to unrealistic beauty standards can lead us to scrutinize our own reflections with increasing doubt and discomfort. This dissonance often stems from a relentless barrage of images that promote a narrow definition of beauty, making it easy to lose sight of our own unique beauty as we age.

Isn’t it amusing how, in our childhood, reaching our 20s feels like a distant dream, and in our teenage years, reaching our 30s seems ancient? Yet, as we transition into adulthood, the numbers keep shifting, and suddenly, turning 40 feels like approaching retirement, while crossing the 60-year mark signals obsolescence. This relentless ticking of the clock can create a jarring sense of urgency around ageing, but for me, approaching 60 has been more about embracing perspective and celebrating the wisdom that comes with it.

Since launching MV in 1999, I have championed a pro-ageing philosophy, a conviction that was further solidified when I lost my best friend to ovarian cancer in 2001. This profound loss served as a stark reminder of the fragility of life and the importance of cherishing every moment. Confronted with the reality of death, I found clarity in the values I wanted to uphold and share with others.

Years later, during a visit to the UK, a mutual friend reminded us that our departed friend would never experience the signs of ageing like grey hair or wrinkles. This poignant moment inspired me to embrace my natural hair color, defying societal norms at a time when ‘silver’ was not celebrated. My hairdresser raised an eyebrow, and friends questioned my decision, but I felt a deep sense of authenticity in this choice. I’ve always preferred to forge my own path, both personally and professionally, and I have been vocal against the pervasive anti-ageing rhetoric that has dominated the beauty industry for over thirty years.

From the beginning, I found the concept of ‘anti-ageing’ to be absurd. My candid perspectives, which highlighted the disempowerment of women through fear of ageing, often placed me on the fringes of the beauty industry. Yet, I have grown comfortable in this position, allowing me to remain true to my core values and vision. While I once hoped for a shift within the industry, the rise of youth-centric media and the relentless promotion of unrealistic beauty standards only intensified my resolve to advocate for a more inclusive definition of beauty.

Throughout the years, my so-called ‘controversial’ views earned me the title of the Beauty Rebel, a label I wear with pride. It has led me to discover my niche and cultivate a community that values authenticity and individuality over conformity. I realized that the changes I longed for in the beauty industry might take longer than I anticipated, but I am committed to continuing the conversation around ageing and beauty.

Defying Norms: Navigating Successes and Challenges

In 2009, I embarked on a transformative journey as a travelling facialist, providing my signature treatments to VIP clients in London and New York. This experience was equally exhilarating and daunting, prompting a moment of vulnerability as I sought guidance from a fellow facialist who specialized in preparing clients for high-profile events. Our conversation turned to the use of Botox and fillers, treatments that many of my clients had begun to ask about, leaving me uncertain about how to respond.

As we shared tea in a cozy London café, she posed a critical question: “What happens to muscles that are repeatedly frozen?” Initially, I was taken aback, but it soon became clear: muscle atrophy. This revelation shed light on the long-term consequences of relying on injectables, including a dependency on fillers that could create a cycle women might find difficult to escape.

Leaving that meeting, I pondered the number of women who might regret their decisions regarding Botox and fillers, and the irreversible changes they might face. Although I hoped this trend would fade, it quickly gained traction, evolving into a pervasive narrative of ‘preventative’ beauty. This shift resulted in a new generation of young women inundated with messages about achieving flawless skin, leading to the rise of the injectable culture.

Empowering Change: The Value of Friendship, Wisdom, and Laughter

Before the onset of Covid-19, I contemplated stepping back from my international engagements due to frustration with the beauty industry. However, during the pandemic, I witnessed a significant paradigm shift in how we understand beauty and the empowerment of women. A growing movement of women is actively championing the celebration of ageing and redefining beauty standards.

This transformative shift is manifesting across various domains, including media, workplaces, educational institutions, and beyond, instilling a fresh sense of optimism in our collective outlook on ageing. The shift is not merely superficial; it reflects a deeper cultural change that encourages individuals to embrace their age with grace and confidence.

One of the women leading this charge is my dear friend, Anna Murphy, the Fashion Director of the UK Times. Our shared journey of discarding hair dye in favor of embracing our natural beauty speaks volumes about our commitment to inner health and well-being. Anna, with her remarkable style, has inspired me through her recent book, Destination Fabulous, urging countless individuals to discover and celebrate their unique style as they age. I found myself captivated by her wisdom, having read her book multiple times, and each reading reinforces her message about self-acceptance and authenticity.

With age comes not only wisdom but also a delightful sense of humor. For a dose of laughter, I highly recommend 60.life, a blog by UK Telegraph journalist Jan Masters. Her humorous take on modern phrases is both entertaining and relatable, showcasing the lighter side of ageing. Each post leaves you chuckling and reflecting on your own experiences, reminding us all not to take life too seriously.

Jan’s insights about ageing resonate deeply: “I’d rather take my lead from the Japanese. As a Vogue Japan columnist for many years, I learned your 60th is a punch-the-air moment. It’s called ‘Karveki’ and roughly translates to being reborn.” This perspective not only challenges ageism but also promotes self-acceptance and the understanding that beauty evolves with time.

Women like Anna and Jan serve as powerful role models, encouraging us to redefine beauty standards and embrace our unique features at any age. Reflecting on the myriad individuals I’ve met, the books I’ve consumed, and the courses I’ve taken over the years, I am reminded of the wealth of wisdom acquired along the way. Each experience has contributed to my understanding of the journey of ageing, affirming that the woman I am today has evolved significantly since my arrival in Sydney at 18.

So, here’s to the beauty of being reborn at any age, celebrating each chapter of life with enthusiasm and grace. It’s all about perspective!