Maybe it was the fact the news came first thing in the morning.

Maybe it was the fact first thing in the morning I look like something the cat sicked up.

During an interview on one of the morning TV shows, an expert on relationships was, in essence, telling people they don’t have a chance of finding Mr. or Miss Right unless they make themselves attractive.

I immediately looked in the mirror. Attractive, of course, is a relative term, but I was at that moment as far from fitting the bill as an elephant is from being able to fit into a Kia.

The interviewer pressed the guest on the issue, but she stood firm. Unless you are attractive, she insisted, you are out of luck when it comes to finding a mate.

But I am living proof this theory doesn’t hold true. I have looked virtually the same since birth (except for the mustache and a migrating hair line) and I have been happily married for nearly 48 years. I know there must be many reasons my wife agreed to marry me, but my good looks is not among them. Nor is my bank account. Nor is … oh the heck with it, now I’m starting to depress myself

Regardless, the news from the morning TV expert was undoubtedly welcome to those who peddle beauty products — all the creams, potions and ministrations that are supposed to make us all look like movie stars — as well as plastic surgeons.

Plastic surgery is all the rage these days. According to the Aesthetic Society, Americans spent $14.6 billion on aesthetic plastic surgery in 2021. Aesthetic plastic surgery is aimed primarily at improving looks, as opposed to procedures of designed plastics strictly for reconstructive Includes face lifts, nose jobs, breast augmentation (or reduction) and removal of fat (liposuction).

We are a society, it seems, obsessed with physical beauty. Ladies spend the most trying to make themselves beautiful. In 2020, the Aesthetic Society reports, women underwent 92% of all cosmetic plastic surgery procedures.

According to a survey conducted by Groupon and OnePoll, the average American woman spends $3,765 per year on beauty products and services. Not that guys are any less concerned about their appearance. The survey says guys spend an average of $2,928 per personal year on their appearance , shelling out for haircuts and skincare items, among others.

Radio stations once held a contest called the “Breast Christmas Ever,” in which women in four cities were offered the chance to win breast enlargement surgery.

Entrants were asked to submit an essay explaining why they wanted larger breasts. In all, 13 lucky women were awarded breast augmentation surgery.

One of the stations, WKQI-FM in Detroit, held a similar contest several years ago. That year’s winner was Kara Cope of Livonia, Mich.

“It was an awesome Christmas present,” she said. I suppose. Kind of hard to wrap, though.

That contest ran afoul of the National Research Center for Women & Families and the national Organization for Women. NOW has its own campaign called “Love Your Body,” aimed at countering what it calls unrealistic body images promoted by the movies and television.

What’s this country coming to? Well, it seems America is not alone in its obsession with physical perfection.

China, the world’s most populous nation and one of the last bastions of communist doctrine, once staged a pageant called “Miss Artificial Beauty.”

All of the contestants were surgically augmented to one degree or another.

In all, 19 surgically altered finalists, including a 62-year-old woman and a transsexual, battled for the crown. The winner, 22-year-old Feng Xian, had her eyelids done, had fat removed from her abdomen through liposuction, had her cheeks reshaped and had botox injections in her face.

Immediately after receiving her crown, Miss Plastic Surgery said the secret to her victory was confidence.

If Miss Feng had indeed had confidence, she wouldn’t have gotten involved in the whole plastic dog and pony show in the first place.

Cosmetic surgery can cover scars, repair deformities and correct defects. It also can make you look like a movie star, if that’s important to you.

Comedienne Lucille Ball once said “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”

Contrary to popular belief, beauty’s not in the eye of the beholder, it’s in the heart.

Now, where did I put my eyeliner?

Mullin is an award-winning writer and columnist who retired in 2017 after 41 years with the News and Eagle. Email him at janjeff2002@yahoo.com or write him in care of the Enid News & Eagle at PO Box 1192, Enid, OK, 73702.

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Mullin is an award-winning writer and columnist who retired in 2017 after 41 years with the News & Eagle. Email him at janjeff2002@yahoo.com or write him in care of the Enid News & Eagle at PO Box 1192, Enid, OK, 73702.

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